Struggling BIG TIME

Ok, so I have to start this by saying that I am soooo grateful for my friends and followers (even if I don't know who you are)!!!! I have had a very hard struggle today, and if I hadn't had the thought of letting someone else down, I'd have given up today.

I have been cheating "little cheats" all the time and it's affecting my losses. Yesterday morning was NO loss (or gain), and today was only .2 lost. I decided to do an apple day, but by 11 (which when you have 2 little kids that wake up at 6 every morning regardless of which day it is, 11 is LUNCH.) Anyway. By 11 I had had 1 apple already and couldn't stop feeling hungry and thinking about food. And of course, it wasn't apples I was thinking of... well... maybe apples, but with peanut butter... and that's what I did. Immediately after, I had 2 cheese sticks I'd cut. And when I'd realized apple day was blown, I had some hcg friendly tomato soup to fill me. Drank 1/2 gallon water today, and was good with my hcg friendly breaded chicken for dinner.

I took my little girl to church and promised her I'd let her have a cookie if she was good. (You're thinking I ate one, here aren't you? -NOPE) --Only cuz they didn't have cookies tonight! If you know how hard they cry when they've been GOOD (and I mean GOOD... she does NOT sit well and I was VERY impressed), only to have their bribe taken away... I promised her I'd bake us some cookies instead. THIS is where I was a bad girl! I made pb cookies. (No flour, but SUGAR for sure! Actually, if I could make them sugar-free, they'd make a GREAT p3 food! But none of that thinking right now... I'm still on the naughty list right now.) I ate TWO.

I don't know why I'm eating like this. I was hungry when I had the cheese and pb on my apple at lunchtime, but I'm honestly NOT feeling hungry after I've eaten lunch. I really only ate my dinner when I did because I thought I'd be gone till late, but things didn't go as planned and I ended up home after church. I went into the cookie situation knowingly that I was going to eat at least 1, and if they're there in the morning I'm sure I'd have another bad day of it too, so I'll let hubby eat all he will tonight, and make him take them to work or else throw them away. I feel like I'm totally powerless over all the cheating. That in itself, I'm sure is the key to unlocking my dilemma... knowing I'm powerless. (Step 1 no less!) God, help me. I need your help here!

Again, I say it, thank you all for being my motivation to not quit today, especially you, Alma. Thanks for being the person who'd be so mad at me for quitting. This diet has been SUCH a great thing in my life. It has helped me realize a LOT about myself, and to care about myself again! For so long there, I just was content being the sloppy mom who'd let herself go after having kids. I didn't even realize it! And now I feel like I'm getting myself back. Thank you, God, for that!